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The relation of Husband & with and some wrong concepts

Ubqari Magazine - February 2017

The environment which you are habitual of and the things which are a part of your training, adopting any way other than that seems to be extremely difficult. Conditions go worse at the time when one partner keeps on increasing expectations from the other.

One philosopher was asked about the relation of husband & wife, then his saying was that: “This relation is as stronger as much delicate it is.” If bring this sentence into consideration than the realities hidden in it are clearly exposed because the togetherness of husband & wife isn’t any temporary but both have to live with each other’s qualities and weaknesses for the entire life and is obvious that where will be two different minds, there the way of thinking will conflict somewhere. This is that crucial point where majority of husband & wife reel and remain unsuccessful in understanding each other. Generally, this situation occurs more in the beginning years of marriage because both the partners steps into a new life whose few requirements are surely different from that of the normal life. Some changes are compulsory from both the sides and the same processes of change maybe puts people into problem to some extent because in the start, the environment which you are habitual ofand the things which are a part of your training, adopting any way other than that seems to be extremely difficult. Conditions go worse at the time when one partner keeps on increasing expectations from the other and thinks that only the other should be changed while he/she do not put any effort at all to change his/her self on a serious note. Someone had asked the famous specialist philosopher Fried that what could be the worst thing in the relation of husband & wife? His answer was: The worst thing in this relation could be this that one of them projects that the other should give him/her love and attention. This that the beauty of the relation of husband & wife always stay connected with mutual caring.

Should husband & wife keep each other happy?

Another colorful craft idea is this that wife for the happiness of husband abandon heart and husband for the happiness of his wife abandons friends, relatives, sports and enjoyment. Just this that both dedicate their lives for each other. According to relations, it is said by the researchers that complete rely on any other person for the accomplishment of happiness can never become the way of attaining true happiness. This happens that when any sorrow and shock reaches the couples of such thinking, then they blame their partner for it. Such couples will always be seen complaining to each other that he/she was unable to manage happiness for him/her. Till this that after the completion of one desire, some other thing will become the cause of unhappiness. You should not lose your persona. If you are fond of reading books, then this hobby should remain continued after marriage too. You should respect such wish of your partner that he/she could stay happy with this in which surely there isn’t any material of your interest but you must try to make it arranged for him/her.

Perform all the tasks together?: It is said that if husband & wife do work together then better results of it comes out. Both can get better results by facing less pressure or putting less effort. Surely, this rule can be implemented in many matters of life but this could be much better than it that the work which is to be done by wife, she should do it and the responsibilities which are upon husband, he should fulfill those by himself. If in every work, both started to manage for each other then, not only will the work be delayed but also its results won’t come out good.

There isnt any problem in expressing feelings? It is the idea of many couples that if the feelings aren’t expressed then the pressure is increased. That’s why whenever one gets angry, husband & wife should express it openly so that heart frustration leaves. Oh ho! It isn’t like this. At times you have to control your anger and you should know this quality because if you got involved in the expression of feelings then these feelings will keep on occurring and you will keep on expressing them daily. What the environment of house will be in such conditions that could only be imagined. Most of the husbands & wives are habitual of being upset at others. Especially this is seen that wives taunt husbands on the harsh talks of in laws. Such kind of behavior is extremely dangerous for husband & wife. Whatever must the conditions be, both shouldn’t not throw their anger at each other, yes in such conditions, a slightly defensive attitude could be adopted. After the passage of time, when your anger will get cold, then the environment of house will become better faster.

Mental Accord is Necessary: The psychologists normally says one thing that the recognition of good husband & wife id mental accord. Undoubtedly for pleasant relations, mental accord is truly very important but this point is generally taken in a wrong perspective. Mental accord doesn’t at all mean that there comes no point of difference of opinion in between your two. You cannot make mental accord the standard of judging sincerity. Sincerity is a separate thing, it isn’t important that any one of the husband & wife keeps difference from the opinion of the other, if his/her opinions are different in any matter than consider this that there is lack of sincerity. It isn’t like this. Such couples which firmly believe on this that mental accord is the standard of good husband & wife, for them, after the difference of opinion in any matter, many types of misconceptions seem to be born. Getting to know the ideas of life partner can’t be the standard of sincerity and love.

Is Blind Trust Necessary?: Husband & wife are mostly given an advice to completely trust each other. It isn’t like this. Both are humans and specially the habits and nature of man is quite different from that of woman. They can quickly flow in the line of sentimentality. Along with trusting each other, both have to take care that they stay away from such environment and conditions which could be marked harmful for their married life. Should by trusting her husband blindly, wife give husband the permission to go to any such place, going where could be harmful for her married life? May be not. Keeping such things in view, some people think that trusts in its place but with it, there are certain aspects of life where cautious rather extremely cautious attitude is required to be adopted and if husband & wife are of smart type then this need increases even more.

 

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